Poop Monster

I made a mistake.  A pretty serious mistake.  One that may have lifelong consequences.

My 3 year old son came running to me one day and exclaimed that he had the most exciting thing ever to show me in the bathroom and that I needed to close my eyes and follow him to the surprise.

Having been around the block once or twice I geared myself up to see something I neither needed, nor wanted to see (likely in the toilet), and kept one eye slightly open so he didn't lead me right into the door frame again.

H: "Ok Mommy, open your eyes!"

I have to admit that I was impressed. I've seen a lot of bowel movements in my day but this one was top notch.  Without even thinking I said "oh, you made a toilet Nessie"

H: "What's a toilet nessie"

Me: "Do you remember talking about the loch ness monster and how it poked it's head up out of the water?"

H : "HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

So while this interchange was comical, I didn't quite realize what I had started by comparing his bowel movement to a mythical being.

Fast forward to today (approimately 3 months after the initial incident, and therefore around 90 thrilling bowel movements later).

H came sprinting from the bathroom exclaiming "Mommy, Mommy! I did it! I FINALLY made what I've been trying to make FOREVER!"

I must say that his excitement actually had me intrigued.

I followed closely behind him as he attempted to run toward the bathroom with his underpants still around his ankles.  To give you a proper visual of what I was witnessing, try to picture a naked child running in a pair of 1980s Payless shoes that were tied together with a 4 inch plastic strap.

We arrived at the bathroom, and there it was, a clear indication of a high fiber content meal. Two similarly sized logs, one over the other in the shape of a cross.

H: "Do you see it mommy?"

Me: "Did you make a letter T?"

H: "Can't you see it Mommy? It's a toilet Sasquatch!!!"

Yep, It was brown, fuzzy, had a head, 2 arms, and 2 legs.  Clearly a Sasquatch.  How did I miss it the first time?

Then I made another mistake by saying, "What are you working on next?"

H: "I don't know.  Maybe Cerberus.. I need to think about it."

If you like what you just read, please subscribe to this blog, recommend it, and/or pass it along to your friends.