Old Dogs do learn new tricks, and mine is kind of an asshole

We've had our dog Petey for 12 years now. He's been a part of our lives for such a long time that I can't imagine what it will be like without him.  He's still doing surprisingly well considering he is around 13 years old.  

As he has aged we've all become more aware of the fact that our time with him is limited.  H keeps saying "Petey's probably going to die soon" to pretty much every stranger which isn't awkward at all (yes, that is sarcasm).  

All 3 kids have also taken to feeding him treats, scraps, and goodies since I made the mistake of telling them that old dogs deserve to be spoiled, which of course makes backyard cleanup a little extra nasty. 

Oh, not to mention the whole no pets on the furniture thing has gone out the window.  The excuses run from "he's too old to sleep on the hard floor", to "mom, he's cold," or "I just want to cuddle with him since he's probably going to die tomorrow." Of course I cave because I too am a total sucker.

I swear Petey has heard these discussions and has decided to totally mess with us. He has taken to laying with his eyes open and holding his breath just long enough for me to exclaim "oh shit!!!"  before he promptly perks up and starts wagging with a little doggy smirk as if to say "haha, I totally got you that time!"  

I swear this dog is trying to kill me first by giving me a heart attack.

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